Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Show don't Tell

This week we have been looking at show don't tell that is when you describe how your feeling without telling the audience. But we have twisted it and and done it about hiding now everyone in the class have been stories about it. We have learning about this so we can hook the reader in and make it more interesting and descriptive. I really like how I described how tense it was getting. Next time I think I could maybe keep my ideas together instead of just putting them in no order.

“Boom boom boom boom” is all I could hear as I sat there in the pitch black room behind the curtain. I was a bit scared as I sat there but I didn't really care. The only thing I didn't want to happen was to get caught.  My eyes were glued shut, I was too afraid to open them, I thought that if I did they would be standing right there and they’d find me.   I was scrunched up into a little ball, it was so quiet I could hear my blood pumping around my body.  

“ Ooh they’re so dumb” I was thinking in my head. The Curtain was as cold as ice against my cheek.  Suddenly I felt something crawling up my leg, I slowly  opened my eyes and turned my head, I wanted to scream but I didn’t want to get caught, there was a big black spider on my leg, it was sooooo disgusting. It sent a shiver up my spine.  I quickly spotted a stick and wiped the spider off and squashed it. “Found you” I heard. “Ohh” I whispered as they stomped down the hallway. It was getting so tense. “I think I'm the last one” I whispered to myself.

Just at that moment they found me. “Play again?” they said “Nah I'm too good for you guys” I replied

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